Simple Life

Wow - I'm not even sure how to write this message to make it believable.  I can share facts and stories until I'm hoarse, but I just don't think my words will have the power to describe the palpability of what I've been learning about lately. Marriage in Japan is not like marriage in the US - generally speaking of course.  What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of marriage?  Probably love.  There are a list of other images and emotions that come to mind, that follow the love, but love always comes first.  Here, that just isn't so.  Here you marry to have children, or to have a home to take care of.  The majority of women here marry to have babies and stay home to raise them.  The man that they marry is essentially a baby-daddy.  He is a man that lives to work and wants the status of a family.  Everyone wins.   Marriages here are still occasionally arranged even... I cannot tell you how many people Jason and I have met that only see their spouses

Before we left Yakima Lillian was fighting some really strong anxiety.  Without getting into too many details I will say that she was in counseling and we were all working hard at trying to create a stable and reassuring environment for her.  Then we decided to make this move - a totally counter intuitive measure when taking into consideration where Lily was at.  I weighed the decision heavily - for Lily.  Would this be good?  Bad?  Disastrous?  No way to answer that question of course - not with out giving it a go - so go we did. Here we are, almost a year to the day that we first sent an email inquiry about the job over here - and Lily has blown me away.  My timid, nervous girl that was crawling inside of herself just one year ago has blossomed.  I can only theorize what led to her growth - maybe it would have happened no matter where we were.  I don't know.  All that I know is that last year I don't think I could have convinced her to walk across a stage in front of 100 p

This is a Japanese family that we have come to be friends with.  (Well, except for the white guy, that's a fellow teacher, a Canadian named John.  Not to say we aren't great friends with him, we are, but he's not Japanese...and he's more like family at this point anyway.) There are kind people all over the world.  No matter where you go, kindness is there to be found.  The problem that many of us face is complacency, or dare I say hubris?  We don't need help.  We can do all things on our own.  To be vulnerable and accepting of help is to appear weak.  To be a self sufficient island, now that is an admirable quality....I don't believe any of this, but I cannot say that I am not guilty of being the person I just described.  It is just so easy to fall into a cycle of walling people out of your life; of refusing help, or just not asking for it.   Fortunately, this little change of life has forced me, and us, to not only need help, but to ask for it and to acc

Ten years ago I was pregnant with Lily.  Jason and I took the usual American steps in creating a nursery, setting up a crib, buying, buying, buying.  Then, September came, Lily came, and many of my plans for the kind of mother I was going to be went out the window.  What's so funny is that everyone has an opinion on how we should raise our kids.  People with years of experience and people with none, they all want to ring in and share, or force, their ideas.  Often these opinions and ideas are welcomed - new parents often feel unprepared and inadequate.  Heck, seasoned parents feel that way too. One of the biggest shocks to me was my sudden and adamant protection of co-sleeping.  Until the day Miss Lil was born I swore in every direction that she would sleep in her crib.  Always.  There would be no family bed, no sleep overs, no middle of the night ambushes.  I would rise with her cries, feed her, return her to her bed and me to mine.  That lasted 0 days.  At first she was just to

 July 7th is Tanabata, a Japanese Star festival.  Every year children and adults make colorful decorations that they hang from bamboo trees.  Along with these decorations, wishes are made and written on small strips of paper and added to the tree.  Custom says that after the celebration, the decorations and wishes are either left on the bamboo and sent floating down the river, or, they are burnt just after midnight. There are star festivals all over Japan on 7/7.  (Although some celebrate in August due to interpretations from different calendars.)  These festivals vary in size by area - our area didn't have a large festival.  The larger ones can include parades, decoration contests, and the standard food stalls and carnival games.  All festivals, regardless of size, have many Tanabata decorations and wishes filling the area. The Story of Tanabata  (borrowed from Wikipedia) Orihime  ( 織姫  Weaving Princess ? ) , daughter of the  Tentei   ( 天帝  Sky King, or the uni

Differences 3.0  Yes, there are more of them!  So many more... Parking - Japanese people back into their parking spots.  It does not matter if you are parking at home, the store, the park, you back in.  I can definitely see where there are some advantages to this - in some situations.  For example, many driveways are on busy streets.  Backing in allows for easy exit and prevents having to back into traffic.  Here is the one that I don't get.  Why would you back in at the grocery store?  In doing so you are making your trunk difficult to get into for storing groceries.   Which car do you think is ours? Shopping - Have I mentioned to you that grocery stores here keep retail hours?  Most grocery stores open for the day somewhere between 9 and 10 AM.  They close about 9 PM.  Of course there are some with extended hours, but they are not near my home and require driving further.  It is really kind of frustrating actually.  I remember when I used to be up, out, done shopping,

It's taken me a while to get used to being an outsider.  For the first time in my life I am a minority.  It is a lonely status to hold - one that I had never given a second thought to before.  I had always considered myself and open-minded and accepting person - race, color, religion, lifestyle - I accept all of it.  The more the merrier.  However, just because I have always felt that way, doesn't mean that I have always been a true advocate for diversity or even just a kind, welcoming human.  Silent acceptance of someone that is different from you - someone that may feel very alone, or may not - really only does you good.  You know how you feel, but no one ele does.  It does no good for the person that is out there searching, just looking for a place to sit and be welcome. I bring this up because here I am, in the reverse position.  I am the lost one, craving human interaction and acceptance.  A simple smile with eye contact from a stranger literally makes my day.  Even bett