Skip 1, Cancer 0
It's been a while; a little more than 6 months to be inexact. I was looking for a word to describe why I haven't written - a single word that could sum up my state of being in a succinct way that would leave you to say, "Oh, I get it. No further explanation needed." That word may be out there, but it is beyond my reach at the moment. Here is what I came up with: NEUTRAL. Weird, until I really started thinking about it. Neutral means having no strongly marked or positive characteristics or features. The synonyms for neutral are: inoffensive, bland, unobjectionable, unexceptionable, anodyne,unremarkable, ordinary, commonplace. In other words, my attitude for the last 6 months. I have a couple really good excuses that totally make sense, but really? Who cares.
I am back, possibly in limited release, we'll see. (I have missed this blog dearly.) It was so easy to keep up while we were away, the anonymity that distance created was quite a strong security blanket. I didn't have to worry about running in to you or anyone that may have read my work when I was away. I was away! Now, I may say something here and have to own up to it tomorrow. It'll be over lettuce in the produce section or while dropping my kid off at karate. "Yeah, I said that…but, it was in writing which is so much different than talking. See, if I wanted to talk about it, I may have, or I may not have, which is why I wrote about it. Get it?" Here is the crap that made me abuse the keys again: Skiphas had cancer.
Those of you that really know me know that Skip kind of saved me from myself (no, I'm totally not dramatic. At all.) He came into my life in the beginning of my parents' super shitty divorce. I hated him for all the reasons that a 9 year old girl would hate Mom's new boyfriend. Despite my best efforts to chase him off, he stuck around. By the time I was 16 I was (half) joking that if he and Mom were to ever divorce, I would choose him. I still feel that way today. He's pretty much a rockstar, without all the musical ability. Skip became my Dad. He never missed anything that was important to me, knew all my friends, walked me down the isle, etc. He is the only Dad my kids know me to have.
A little over years ago Jason lost his Dad (Elliott) to pancreatic cancer. That was the single most difficult time I have ever lived through. A year ago, I lost my own father to lung cancer. This was also difficult but less so and for very different reasons. So, Skip is all we have left. He's our one and only Dad. At the end of March he told us that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Having researched this particular disease before, I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew it to be slow growing, often curable, and common. Skip's was not that kind. He had the most aggressive form that grew quickly and has a higher likelihood of returning. Long story short, he waited an excruciating 7 weeks to have it removed surgically. His surgery was Monday, May 19. When the docs got inside, the tumor had grown outside the prostate but had not spread yet, so they were able to get it all but it took longer than expected. The preliminary reports all indicate that he is in the clear. He'll have to go in for quarterly checks for a while, then bi-annually, the yearly.
This was hard. I think it was made harder by the scars we carry from losing Elliott. Knowing what he went through and what those around him went through - that makes cancer super scary. As if it needs all that clout to make it worse! I think that Jason was hit pretty hard too - he sort of made me take time off work to go up and see Skip earlier than I planned to go. Skip and Mom needed a little help, but I think that we needed to see them almost as much. Skip is sore, not walking very fast, and hates the glue they used to put him back together. He's not taking anything stronger than Excedrin for the pain (crazy! bring on the drugs!), but he's doing alright.
I am thankful. So stinking thankful. I am blessed to have more time with Skip and lucky to have Jason, who values my family as his. I have two additional people in my life with active cancer battles going on right now - I have been thinking of them often these last few weeks - hoping that they too are doing well and that everyone will come out on the winning side. Join me!
Thanks to the couple friends that have been helping me through this - the texts and calls really meant a lot. You never know what one little text at some god awful hour can mean to someone...Good night!
I am back, possibly in limited release, we'll see. (I have missed this blog dearly.) It was so easy to keep up while we were away, the anonymity that distance created was quite a strong security blanket. I didn't have to worry about running in to you or anyone that may have read my work when I was away. I was away! Now, I may say something here and have to own up to it tomorrow. It'll be over lettuce in the produce section or while dropping my kid off at karate. "Yeah, I said that…but, it was in writing which is so much different than talking. See, if I wanted to talk about it, I may have, or I may not have, which is why I wrote about it. Get it?" Here is the crap that made me abuse the keys again: Skip
Those of you that really know me know that Skip kind of saved me from myself (no, I'm totally not dramatic. At all.) He came into my life in the beginning of my parents' super shitty divorce. I hated him for all the reasons that a 9 year old girl would hate Mom's new boyfriend. Despite my best efforts to chase him off, he stuck around. By the time I was 16 I was (half) joking that if he and Mom were to ever divorce, I would choose him. I still feel that way today. He's pretty much a rockstar, without all the musical ability. Skip became my Dad. He never missed anything that was important to me, knew all my friends, walked me down the isle, etc. He is the only Dad my kids know me to have.
A little over years ago Jason lost his Dad (Elliott) to pancreatic cancer. That was the single most difficult time I have ever lived through. A year ago, I lost my own father to lung cancer. This was also difficult but less so and for very different reasons. So, Skip is all we have left. He's our one and only Dad. At the end of March he told us that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Having researched this particular disease before, I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew it to be slow growing, often curable, and common. Skip's was not that kind. He had the most aggressive form that grew quickly and has a higher likelihood of returning. Long story short, he waited an excruciating 7 weeks to have it removed surgically. His surgery was Monday, May 19. When the docs got inside, the tumor had grown outside the prostate but had not spread yet, so they were able to get it all but it took longer than expected. The preliminary reports all indicate that he is in the clear. He'll have to go in for quarterly checks for a while, then bi-annually, the yearly.
This was hard. I think it was made harder by the scars we carry from losing Elliott. Knowing what he went through and what those around him went through - that makes cancer super scary. As if it needs all that clout to make it worse! I think that Jason was hit pretty hard too - he sort of made me take time off work to go up and see Skip earlier than I planned to go. Skip and Mom needed a little help, but I think that we needed to see them almost as much. Skip is sore, not walking very fast, and hates the glue they used to put him back together. He's not taking anything stronger than Excedrin for the pain (crazy! bring on the drugs!), but he's doing alright.
I am thankful. So stinking thankful. I am blessed to have more time with Skip and lucky to have Jason, who values my family as his. I have two additional people in my life with active cancer battles going on right now - I have been thinking of them often these last few weeks - hoping that they too are doing well and that everyone will come out on the winning side. Join me!
Thanks to the couple friends that have been helping me through this - the texts and calls really meant a lot. You never know what one little text at some god awful hour can mean to someone...Good night!
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