The Sweet Spot
I think I'm starting to like my kids...
It is Friday night and I've just attended a 3 day writing workshop intended to help some of us teacher types wade through the scary, wordy, commandments known as Common Core. (Fearless leader, if you are reading this, fabulous job! I am only a fraction as scared as I was before the workshop! Only problem I'm seeing is that before the learning, I didn't know how little I knew. Now I am fully aware of my ignorance and potential incapabilities…) One of the activities that we did in the room paired us up in groups of two and had us introduce our partner, answering these three questions: best job you've ever had, best place you've ever lived, and riskiest thing you've ever done. I fretted over that first question. Best job I've ever had? Two jobs came to mind before I started to answer. The first thought was…which one? Then, it dawned on me, neither job was my current one, or being a teacher at all. Was I going to be strung up by my fellow teachers if I didn't profess my love of my job and profession? Let's be honest - we ALL judge. Don't you hate it when you ask your waitress which burger is best and she replies, "I don't know. I'm a vegetarian" or when you ask your barista about the taste of the day's brew and he says he doesn't drink coffee? So, how would I look saying, "I'm a teacher but, I'd rather be doing at least two other things." I risked it and answered honestly. My favorite job was not teaching. I suck.
Guess what? Not only do I suck for preferring to watch babies come out than shape tomorrow's leaders, I also suck for not choosing "motherhood". As the intros went around the room, a couple of the women had chosen motherhood as their favorite jobs. Each time someone said that, guilt settled a little deeper into my pores. Why hadn't I thought of that? I could have said motherhood! I could have touted how awesome being a mom is and how that defines me, etc, blah, etc. However, I would have been lying. It is not my favorite "job".
The first, and most simple, reason I would never list motherhood as my favorite job is that I do not think of it as a job. Not in the traditional sense anyway. It is a job in that it is hard work, but, not the normal job that you apply for, go through an interview, and earn a paycheck. (Let's not get started on that - can you image the world if you had to apply to be a mother? Interview before becoming one? Do a little more leg work than just bumping uglies together and mixing fluids? Hmmm…)
I could say that is my reasoning for not even thinking of motherhood when asked that question, favorite job. Since I'm being honest here, let me just say that even if I considered it a job, motherhood still wouldn't be my favorite. I like being a mom, I'm glad I am one, but honestly, until recently my kids were not people I would have chosen to hang out with. I mean, I would have chosen mine over yours (9 times out of 10), but I would probably have chosen you over my kids (it sounds so much more horrible right now than it really is). I just don't love the small kid age - think 1-9. Those years are hard! Labor intensive, little reward for a lot of effort, hard on the body and the wallet, never ending needs and wants, loud, and even with the greatest husband and support in the world, never enough hands to make for light work. But now, (I started a sentence with 'but'. That's not really allowed. Don't tell.) I would chose my kids! They are funny! I like them!
Jaxon took it upon himself to join Instagram. He has been making and posting short videos that KILL me. He's funny! And, (another conjunction leads the way…) he has this quick wit that means he is constantly having to explain things to his sweet, naive, older sister. Yes, he is inappropriate all the time and still loud, needy, and labor intensive, but the funny…it makes up for it. I want to hang out with him! Lily, she's not funny. She's the kind of not funny that compels a groan and a burying of the face. (She doesn't know that though and she keeps on trying to earn that laugh.) What she lacks in humor and street sense, she has in kindness (you're right, she doesn't get that from me) and vivaciousness. She is giving, thoughtful, and smart. I have a feeling that if we didn't live in such a small place we'd have 27 stray dogs, a few cats and a hobo or two.
I have long struggled with the fact that me+motherhood=rainbows & butterflies. I'm not bad, and maybe I'm even a little good sometimes, but I am not a natural Mary Poppins. It is work for me. But…I think I'm hitting the sweet spot. I'm coming into my own and my kids are, I'm proud to say, two of the best gosh darn people I know. I choose them.
It is Friday night and I've just attended a 3 day writing workshop intended to help some of us teacher types wade through the scary, wordy, commandments known as Common Core. (Fearless leader, if you are reading this, fabulous job! I am only a fraction as scared as I was before the workshop! Only problem I'm seeing is that before the learning, I didn't know how little I knew. Now I am fully aware of my ignorance and potential incapabilities…) One of the activities that we did in the room paired us up in groups of two and had us introduce our partner, answering these three questions: best job you've ever had, best place you've ever lived, and riskiest thing you've ever done. I fretted over that first question. Best job I've ever had? Two jobs came to mind before I started to answer. The first thought was…which one? Then, it dawned on me, neither job was my current one, or being a teacher at all. Was I going to be strung up by my fellow teachers if I didn't profess my love of my job and profession? Let's be honest - we ALL judge. Don't you hate it when you ask your waitress which burger is best and she replies, "I don't know. I'm a vegetarian" or when you ask your barista about the taste of the day's brew and he says he doesn't drink coffee? So, how would I look saying, "I'm a teacher but, I'd rather be doing at least two other things." I risked it and answered honestly. My favorite job was not teaching. I suck.
Guess what? Not only do I suck for preferring to watch babies come out than shape tomorrow's leaders, I also suck for not choosing "motherhood". As the intros went around the room, a couple of the women had chosen motherhood as their favorite jobs. Each time someone said that, guilt settled a little deeper into my pores. Why hadn't I thought of that? I could have said motherhood! I could have touted how awesome being a mom is and how that defines me, etc, blah, etc. However, I would have been lying. It is not my favorite "job".
The first, and most simple, reason I would never list motherhood as my favorite job is that I do not think of it as a job. Not in the traditional sense anyway. It is a job in that it is hard work, but, not the normal job that you apply for, go through an interview, and earn a paycheck. (Let's not get started on that - can you image the world if you had to apply to be a mother? Interview before becoming one? Do a little more leg work than just bumping uglies together and mixing fluids? Hmmm…)
I could say that is my reasoning for not even thinking of motherhood when asked that question, favorite job. Since I'm being honest here, let me just say that even if I considered it a job, motherhood still wouldn't be my favorite. I like being a mom, I'm glad I am one, but honestly, until recently my kids were not people I would have chosen to hang out with. I mean, I would have chosen mine over yours (9 times out of 10), but I would probably have chosen you over my kids (it sounds so much more horrible right now than it really is). I just don't love the small kid age - think 1-9. Those years are hard! Labor intensive, little reward for a lot of effort, hard on the body and the wallet, never ending needs and wants, loud, and even with the greatest husband and support in the world, never enough hands to make for light work. But now, (I started a sentence with 'but'. That's not really allowed. Don't tell.) I would chose my kids! They are funny! I like them!
Jaxon took it upon himself to join Instagram. He has been making and posting short videos that KILL me. He's funny! And, (another conjunction leads the way…) he has this quick wit that means he is constantly having to explain things to his sweet, naive, older sister. Yes, he is inappropriate all the time and still loud, needy, and labor intensive, but the funny…it makes up for it. I want to hang out with him! Lily, she's not funny. She's the kind of not funny that compels a groan and a burying of the face. (She doesn't know that though and she keeps on trying to earn that laugh.) What she lacks in humor and street sense, she has in kindness (you're right, she doesn't get that from me) and vivaciousness. She is giving, thoughtful, and smart. I have a feeling that if we didn't live in such a small place we'd have 27 stray dogs, a few cats and a hobo or two.
I have long struggled with the fact that me+motherhood=
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