Dependency

One of the things that I have struggled with here is Japan is how dependent I have to be on other people. I have always been a self-sufficient, do what needs to be done on my own kind of girl. Here, that's impossible. I cannot buy food, make a hair appointment, or buy a train ticket by myself. Everything that we do here needs to be done with us or for us at least the first time.

This picture is of the machine that we use to buy train tickets. The picture is pretty small and difficult to see, but it is all in Japanese (shocking, right?). There are Kanji listed for all the different cities that you can buy tickets for, as well as instructions in hiragana and katakana. So, as it is, I can buy tickets for one of two places, and that is only because I have been shown which buttons those are and I know the fare that the ticket should cost. If someone were to ask me to take the train somewhere else, I'd need help.

I mention all of this because it is hard. It is so hard to want to be able to do things for yourself and not be able to. Part of that is fun of course - trying new things at the store and having no clue what they are. But the other part of it is really hard. Example:

Our boss and his wife helped us by ordering our internet and phone line for us for the apartment. They came over to help get it set up and all was well - except that the box for the cable tv wasn't here yet. Now it is here, I've plugged it in, and cannot get it to function. There is no way to call for technical support, or read the FAQs. I just have to wait for someone that is busy living their own life to stop and have time to help me live mine. (You guys know me, how good am I at waiting?)

Also, we have to have all of our mail read to us. We get things in the mail from the city and the school, can't read them. We have to take it all into work and ask for help. I know that people don't mind helping - but I mind asking. And, they have other things to do.

The list of little communication barriers is endless. None of it is unexpected of course. Just my feeling of dependency is. I really, really, dislike it. I cannot wait until I am once again dependent on me, and just me....and now, as I type this - I see the lesson here. I see where this is probably all good for me - to learn to let others help. I guess needing people is a good thing. I like to be needed. But, still...


Comments

  1. slowneyMarch 24, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    I love reading your posts. I remember my two 5 weeks trips traveling in Japan. I had a phrase book to help but. It wasn't enough. That was the early 80's before the internet would have been there to help. I don't eat eggs unless they are cooked and I don't do salt & pepper. At one of the inns where I stayed they served me soft boiled eggs with pepper. I had no way to tell them UGH and it wouldn't have been polite to turn them down so I ate them. So many times I wanted to ask a question but couldn't. I am glad that you do have folks to help you.

    I want Leslie & I to come next year when the kids are out of school.

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