Leaving Utazu
This will be the last post I write from Utazu, our current home. Tomorrow, movers come. They will do the majority of the packing for us and make the 12 hour trip to our new home in Tokyo by truck. The kids and I will go to Tokyo separately - on a night bus. I'm hoping that the kids sleep on the bus...for all our sakes.
Our original plans have changed, over and over. Originally our family was going to be apart for the 5 months that Jason had left on his contract. Of course none of us were happy with that but, it was what it was. As the days passed the angst and worry over the separation built - leading to a blow up of sorts. Lily was asking pointed questions - "Are you guys getting a divorce? Is this what divorce feels like? Are you sure Dad will come?". In an effort to support Jason and not pile guilt on him for an already difficult decision, I kept this from him. But - the always present but. But, I knew what she was feeling, I knew what I was feeling, I wondered what Jaxon was feeling. So, Jason and I talked. Sort of loud, angry "talking". My motives were simple - I just wanted an open recognition from him that this sucked, that he realized what he was doing, what he was choosing. I didn't want him to change his mind and join us, just say, "Yeah, it is just a job, and yeah, this will be miserable for all of us, but, it is important to me." Something like that. His motives (I think) were similar. He wanted a blessing of sorts - me to say, "Yeah, it's cool. I respect your choice and the honor that it holds." Neither of us said what the other wanted to hear. I broke a cardinal rule after that and went to bed angry. The next day I got a heart stopping, "Can we talk?" from Jason. Always a persons favorite thing to hear...long story short, Jason decided to end his contract early and join us sooner. He gave 30 days notice. This was a week ago. More of this and that and now, Jason will finish work in just 5 days, on Oct. 31st.
We both have so many mixed feelings about all of this - none of it happened as either of us would have liked. But, as the cards lie now, we just push forward and hope that Jason is able to find a job quickly. We'd thought we'd have lots of time for him to look. I am happy that he is coming sooner than April, the kids are thrilled. But, at the same time, I regret it all. I regret that we even have to leave. I know it is the right choice, but that doesn't make it the easy choice.
So, the four of us have spent the week saying goodbye to our friends. It has been tough. These people have become family in the absence of our kin. We have been treated so kindly by so many people. Of course we say, "Come visit!" but in reality, that won't happen. The distance is too far, the cost of travel too great. So, we have photos and cards, fond memories, and of course, facebook.
I'm going to wrap this up and try to tackle the chaos that I'm surrounded by - boxes, piles, bags...It is amazing to me that we came to Japan only 9 months ago with a few suitcases and now we have so much stuff.
Next post - Tokyo!
Our original plans have changed, over and over. Originally our family was going to be apart for the 5 months that Jason had left on his contract. Of course none of us were happy with that but, it was what it was. As the days passed the angst and worry over the separation built - leading to a blow up of sorts. Lily was asking pointed questions - "Are you guys getting a divorce? Is this what divorce feels like? Are you sure Dad will come?". In an effort to support Jason and not pile guilt on him for an already difficult decision, I kept this from him. But - the always present but. But, I knew what she was feeling, I knew what I was feeling, I wondered what Jaxon was feeling. So, Jason and I talked. Sort of loud, angry "talking". My motives were simple - I just wanted an open recognition from him that this sucked, that he realized what he was doing, what he was choosing. I didn't want him to change his mind and join us, just say, "Yeah, it is just a job, and yeah, this will be miserable for all of us, but, it is important to me." Something like that. His motives (I think) were similar. He wanted a blessing of sorts - me to say, "Yeah, it's cool. I respect your choice and the honor that it holds." Neither of us said what the other wanted to hear. I broke a cardinal rule after that and went to bed angry. The next day I got a heart stopping, "Can we talk?" from Jason. Always a persons favorite thing to hear...long story short, Jason decided to end his contract early and join us sooner. He gave 30 days notice. This was a week ago. More of this and that and now, Jason will finish work in just 5 days, on Oct. 31st.
We both have so many mixed feelings about all of this - none of it happened as either of us would have liked. But, as the cards lie now, we just push forward and hope that Jason is able to find a job quickly. We'd thought we'd have lots of time for him to look. I am happy that he is coming sooner than April, the kids are thrilled. But, at the same time, I regret it all. I regret that we even have to leave. I know it is the right choice, but that doesn't make it the easy choice.
So, the four of us have spent the week saying goodbye to our friends. It has been tough. These people have become family in the absence of our kin. We have been treated so kindly by so many people. Of course we say, "Come visit!" but in reality, that won't happen. The distance is too far, the cost of travel too great. So, we have photos and cards, fond memories, and of course, facebook.
I'm going to wrap this up and try to tackle the chaos that I'm surrounded by - boxes, piles, bags...It is amazing to me that we came to Japan only 9 months ago with a few suitcases and now we have so much stuff.
Next post - Tokyo!
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