Stickers
I need a sticker chart. Or a reward jar. Or one of those machines in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that determines whether you are a good egg or a bad egg. See, I just need to know whether what I am doing is good and right. (Please hold the comments that are flying through your head until later - I know that I am my own worst judge, that only I can determine if what I am doing is good or right, and that if it feels right to me then it is...I know that. I really know it, but I don't always feel it.)
Everyday we do things - make choices, that will have an impact on later. Some people are researchers and pour over information, digesting any and all related info that they can find before making a move. Me, I am more of a shoot from the hip kind of person - plan in the moment or in other words, don't plan at all. I didn't sit down before the kids were born and say I am going to raise them this way and that way, I want them to do this and that. Of course there were the general conversations about views, but nothing specific. No plans or strategies. Now, they are 9 and 10 years old and I am seeing the fruits of my labors.
My kids could likely teach a very accurate sex ed class. They know and have seen that people die, that cancer is awful and that AIDS is unforgiving. They know the reality and mourn the loss of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and all things winged and magical. They know that there are bad people in the world that too bad to even meet. They know that people are mean and that people can also be kind. They know that they need money to live. They know that their Mom and Dad have sex, that love is essential to life and that humor in one of the keys to survival. They know that they are so, so loved.
So, here is where I get to questioning myself - not that anything can be done about it now. But, what kind of people am I raising? Did I rob them of some precious childhood full of fantasy and glitter or did I expose them to real life so that they could experience more of it? Personally, I love that my kids are like little adults - that I can talk about almost anything with them and that I do not have to hide behind falsities. But, I know other children their age that are still head-in-the-clouds kind of kids, kids that know nothing of the real world, or very little of it anyway. So, which is right?
This week I was able to have a parent/teacher conference with each of the kids' teachers. I know that my kids are not perfect but, I have to say, I think got a sticker on my chart that day. They are not the brightest, but they are bright enough. Neither one is a star athlete at this point or will be voted most popular. You know what they both are? Hard workers. Unique. Kind. They are both determined to improve, happy to be at school, and their own persons. I am proud that they are my children. (Even if my son is a little too free with his use of genitalia terminology and references...)
So, I still don't know if what I am doing is right. I guess it cannot really be right, as there will always be someone to say that it is wrong. But, what I am doing fits us. (It's not all my doing of course...Jason is here too, for blame and celebration.) And, I guess, I wouldn't really change any of it.
Everyday we do things - make choices, that will have an impact on later. Some people are researchers and pour over information, digesting any and all related info that they can find before making a move. Me, I am more of a shoot from the hip kind of person - plan in the moment or in other words, don't plan at all. I didn't sit down before the kids were born and say I am going to raise them this way and that way, I want them to do this and that. Of course there were the general conversations about views, but nothing specific. No plans or strategies. Now, they are 9 and 10 years old and I am seeing the fruits of my labors.
My kids could likely teach a very accurate sex ed class. They know and have seen that people die, that cancer is awful and that AIDS is unforgiving. They know the reality and mourn the loss of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and all things winged and magical. They know that there are bad people in the world that too bad to even meet. They know that people are mean and that people can also be kind. They know that they need money to live. They know that their Mom and Dad have sex, that love is essential to life and that humor in one of the keys to survival. They know that they are so, so loved.
So, here is where I get to questioning myself - not that anything can be done about it now. But, what kind of people am I raising? Did I rob them of some precious childhood full of fantasy and glitter or did I expose them to real life so that they could experience more of it? Personally, I love that my kids are like little adults - that I can talk about almost anything with them and that I do not have to hide behind falsities. But, I know other children their age that are still head-in-the-clouds kind of kids, kids that know nothing of the real world, or very little of it anyway. So, which is right?
This week I was able to have a parent/teacher conference with each of the kids' teachers. I know that my kids are not perfect but, I have to say, I think got a sticker on my chart that day. They are not the brightest, but they are bright enough. Neither one is a star athlete at this point or will be voted most popular. You know what they both are? Hard workers. Unique. Kind. They are both determined to improve, happy to be at school, and their own persons. I am proud that they are my children. (Even if my son is a little too free with his use of genitalia terminology and references...)
So, I still don't know if what I am doing is right. I guess it cannot really be right, as there will always be someone to say that it is wrong. But, what I am doing fits us. (It's not all my doing of course...Jason is here too, for blame and celebration.) And, I guess, I wouldn't really change any of it.
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